"There's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light"- ab

What a whirlwind the last week has been.

First, there was my bridal luncheon that consisted of just family. It was held at Redbone Alley and Rella Weaver hosted the shin-dig. We had a wonderful time. I was nervous… usually bride and baby don’t go hand in hand. Yet, as usual in my case well… that isn’t the case.

I came home light-hearted and utterly pleased.

Second, Matt left what feels like forever ago. His visit was so restorative to my soul. Matt brings so much joy when he’s around, it’s really quite a shame he isn’t pocket-sized.

Third, I had a shower. With lots of people and baby M strapped down underneath my dress. She did wonderfully, and lay so very still during the entire ordeal… I almost forgot about her… almost. It felt amazing to be able to celebrate my upcoming nuptials and get to bask under the bridal light for a little while.

I haven’t always been one to picture my wedding and what, where and when the ceremony, band, food and people would be placed. It was definitely something that I kept around in my imagination and daydreams though. It both my reality wedding and my fantasies I imagined marrying a man that I was completely in love with, vice versa. Luckily, what one may consider the most important portion of the reality and fantasy is true. I adore my future husband, just adore him. God has blessed me ten-fold.

Life has been certainly full of surprises and in my case these surprises are what have shaped me into the person I’m becoming, am and will be. There have been so many times that I was angry, confused, sad, or happy that my life is full of un-expectations than opposed to planning and detailing. God has taught me so much through these events. I have become a sympathetic woman, capable of tilling ditches in my soul that are full of love and sprinkled with sadness… what some would call bittersweet… yet I love the word tinged… I have a heart of love tinged with deep sadness and remorse. Without a counterpart to an emotion how are we supposed to understand its extent… or how far a feeling can take us? I am learning daily that challenges cultivate… I am being shaped yet God allows me to make the decision which road to travel towards… bitter or sweet? For now these two roads are very much intertwined. Regardless, there is a light that shines through me giving me faith that the sweet spot isn’t something we arrive at magically it’s a choice, so much like the rest of our life.